Let whatever emotional pain you are experiencing come into
your awareness. What are your hopes and fears about the future? List them. What
memories come from the past? Painful memories tend to lose their power when they
are published. Secrets become more and more powerful. You can use journaling to
publish your memories and talk them over with trusted friends and supporters.
2. Reach out for support. Don’t’ try to go it alone. Mentors, sponsors, friends,
trusted relatives, can all be approached. Usually we don’t need help with advice
or problem solving. We often need to be listened to. It’s rare to find good
listeners, but we have to keep searching.
3. Now that we are aware and feel supported, we can begin to reframe the pain
and turn it into a challenge. It’s most important to turn the experience of a
new beginning into a learning activity. Carefully consider what you can learn
from this new beginning and make that more important than the outcome. If we let
go of the outcome and invest in learning, we set up a situation that allows us
to succeed no matter what happens.
4. Intervene with yourself. We need to develop a positive self-talk, in which we
remind ourselves that we are no longer little school kids. As adults we have
choices; we aren’t helpless to change bad situations. You don’t need a therapist
to have this kind of therapy session.
5. Visualize a successful conclusion to the new beginning. If you are going to a
job interview, you can visualize yourself leaving the office while the
interviewer is telling you how well you have done, and imagine the feelings of
pride and competence. Spend some time fantasizing about this most successful
The Center Expands Again! Please join us in welcoming Megan Kelleher, LCSW who comes to us with wonderfully empathic presence, and a broad range of helping skills. You can learn more about her by visiting our Therapists section or clicking on this link.
Community Walk for Grief Support: Celebrating 25 Years of Transformation
The Center celebrated its 25th year anniversary with a fund raiser walk in Rogers Park, Chicago on June 4. [read more]
New interview on ideas for what to say and do to support the bereaved, by the Center's Meg Kelleher, LCSW.[read here]
Pain Bonds Us - I feel close to you when you let your pain show. A protective shield inside me slides away.[read more]
Private Practice: Dynamic Psychotherapy and Bereavement Counseling (CEU)[read more]
You Know Therapy Is Working When . . . - You feel increasingly uncomfortable with the status quo when it is causing harm. [read more]
Ideas About Mourning - For the griever the future feels shattered; everything hoped for is broken and gone/ lost like a broken mirror. [read more]
Myths and Realities of Mourning - Regrettably, our society maintains a host of unrealistic assumptions and inappropriate expectations when it comes to the work of grief and mourning. Here are some myths to consider:[read more]
The Difference Between Grief and Mourning - It is critical to know the difference between grief and mourning. Both processes are there to help the bereaved face the reality that their loved one is gone and then to slowly begin to accommodate to that fact. [read more]